As I age, I thought my freedom will increase with the faith my mother has in me. It certainly has, not to say in an ample quantity, just right for an average 18 year old I presume.

As I retrieve these freedoms I have craved, shed tears and blood for, the overwhelming feeling is steering me off path.

Should I enjoy young age, live my life base on spontaneity, make mistakes and always assume that my parents will forgive me and laugh about it in the future?

Or should I begin to pick up habits of responsibility and obey to every value and boundaries my mother had embedded in my head since I was a child?

Won’t I lose my chance of messing around with my impulsive friends? Make juvenile errors for the sake of that adrenaline rush? To boost that I’ve done that and it gave me the highest kick into my guts.

I’m 18. Soon I will reach the age of 21, where I suppose to be able to take care of myself and spread my wings to the ruthless world outside. Will I survive? I don’t know. However, should I begin to train myself, gain some discipline right now so that I’ll be able to live in serenity that I’ve always dreamt of?

I still miss being a juvenile. I’ve not done enough things to say, ‘hey, don’t bullshit, teenage is the most vivid phase in life!’

Attended my MUET exam this morning. Today was the speaking test. We were expected to sit in 4 and have an oral discussion, invigilated by two intimidating examiners.

We were given the topic : What is the best quality possessed by a good life partner?

RELIGIOUS / JOVIAL / GOOD-LOOKING / WEALTH

Religious;

I do not exactly belief in God. Just when I couldn’t sleep and imagining there’s a hideous bloody face looking at me when I open my eyes, I pray to God.
Phony? More like self assuring.

Jovial;

Sure being with a person that is fun to be with, you will definitely enjoy most of the time spent together, but that cannot be the only aspect to look for. What if we can’t afford to pay our bills? Come on lets go out and turn the town around and the bills will disappear?

Good-looking;

Beauty is just a shell. Indeed. But presentable is still important.

Wealthy;

Call me materialistic but I will vote for this the strongest. If a problem occurs in my marriage, I would prefer if I didn’t have financial issues to worry me off further. I’d rather be rich, while in distress.
And wala! I was given this point to debate about. Talking about being jinxed.

And after so long not saying this,

Au revoir love